Finding The Time To Contemplate

Lately, I’ve been really out of whack. Luckily, I have people who care about me and believe in me. But sometimes I forget to remind myself of how much I need to believe in me. Taking a few days to re-center myself and listen to friends and family helped me to remember, but contemplative practices were a good way to get back in touch with myself to rebuild myself, from inside out. Starting with the mind:

With the help from tactics I’ve learned from my classes and working some contemplative practices into my life, I was able to set my sights clearer and empty out most of my thoughts, stress, and anxiety.  Through these ways, I am learning to recharge my social battery and line up my schedules to get myself back together.

I don’t really do a good job at hiding it, but mental health is an area of my life I’ve ignored for a long time growing up. So, if you attempt to experiment with an area of life, you’re anxious or scared about, be sure to make yourself as comfortable as possible. Slowing down was the hardest part about earning to reach my center. While I’m not a Buddhist monk, a psychologist, or even remotely good at science, I did have to be realistic with my “experiment.”

It wasn’t really an experiment at all. I just tried to incorporate a few new things into my daily routines that might help me out. One of the things that helped a lot was music. I’ve always been particular about my music. If you were to look at my Spotify, you’d see carefully chosen music to fit nearly every mood. I’ve got the sad playlists like, “Alone in the ICU” or “11:43 pm on a Monday night.” I also have “hello yello” and “kickin’ ass in class” for when I start to feel stressed.

For the experiment I chose playlists or music to go with the day’s adventure. Through listening to a lot of music in the background, I found that it was relaxing and calming to hear sounds in the background. I was able to focus more by listening to deep beats with a steady flow or listen to my breathing through the notes of piano keys and the sound of Yo Yo Ma’s cello. It was very calming to be able to channel music into energy.

Another practice I adopted was journaling. I did this at night time and during the day when I had time. However, I made planning more interactive and exciting again. My way of journaling was very different than a “Dear Diary,…” or a “Today was a good day.”

When I recently started to get behind, I started to go back through my planner, back through my notes and papers, and got everything in order. When I went through my planner, dates started to stand out, or times, or important things I wanted to do. I ended up scheduling and journaling at the same time. As a result, I set aside some time to write down more in my planner during the day, and you’d find pictures, notes to myself, birthdays, assignments, and notes from others sticking out.

Lastly, but most importantly...

In between work, classes, and stress, I found myself panicking because I had forgotten to breathe. I had to call my mom a few times, and we went through breathing exercises. I also recently treated myself to an Apple watch. I didn’t know that it has a Breathe notification that goes off every few hours. The times can be set, but I left it random because breathing is important, and you never know when you need a reminder.

I also did meditation practices, like gratitude meditation, to remind myself to be thankful for what I have and who I am. I did this in the mornings, and whenever I felt like I had nothing. These woke me up and allowed me to open my eyes to the friends, family, and professors I have in my life. I was also especially grateful for the little things like the Rice Krispie treats my roommate made and not losing my favorite pen.

Overall, the contemplative practices were good for my mindset. They really helped me refocus and stall the anxiety until it passed or I could process it entirely. The one I used the most was music, since I drive everywhere and dance all the time, but you might catch me listening to music in the back of class. Mostly though, I enjoyed journaling. That helped me to process my day and pick the good and bad parts out. I think that I tend to strive for perfection too much and burn myself out, so it was calming to sit down and plan out my days.

I began to really enjoy backfilling my planner with the positive moments of the day, instead of only scheduled things that needed to be done. It made it more fun to look at my planner and be excited about a day and it was a good way to reflect on the highs and lows, which was one of my aspirations. Using my planner as a journal was also a fun and interactive way to make planning interesting again. It gave me a brighter outlook on my days because it wasn't just boring things I HAD to do, it was full of things I WANT to do.

What are some of your contemplative practices?

Yours truly,

Jessica Ferrucci